Other's Assumptions

I really hate when people decide they know your entire life story from a brief encounter. A person will run into me somewhere and based on a quick look at me decide what is going on in my life at that moment. Don't ask me what is going on or how I feel, but be sure you ask another 10 people that I casuallyknow to get your assumptions verified. I am so past all that kind of stuff in my own way of dealing with the world that I find it do strange when I realize others are not.

I wish these people well. I keep them at arms length and advise others to do the same.

When A Door Closes..

Somewhere another one opens. As many EQII players know I have been involved with the EQ2's-day show for over a year now. Recently that association has come to an end. At first, I was kind of upset that something I enjoyed doing so much would not be a part of my life anymore. But then other things started popping up to fill its place!!

I am very excited about the prospects and I will be learning a lot from whatever I choose to do. Looking back over my life it seems a lot of things just sort of fell into my lap. I would tire of one job and another would just mysteriously present itself. I am happy to know that trend is continuing!!

Aging

I often wondered, over the course of my life what it is like to age. I am 51 and I am still not sure. When I got married I asked my mother when I would feel different. When I had my first child I asked when I would start to feel like a mom. Recently I asked her when I was going to start to feel old.

I do not feel old at all. I know I am starting to look older. I am gaining some weight, things are sagging, there are some wrinkles and age spots, but I just do not feel like I am old. I have navy blue color in my hair, I wear Nikes most of the time, my of my good friends are at least 20 years, if not more, younger then I am. I play video games, I go to gaming conventions, I go to baseball games with my son and his friends.

My husband once said he just wanted me to be "normal". What is normal? Do I have to wear clothes I am not comfortable in or have my hair like everyone else's? Does getting older mean I have to give up everything I enjoy? Does it mean my sense of what I like to do or talk about has to change because people perceive me as out of touch because I am not a 20 something?

I am going to keep on being me till I run out of time. I can only hope others do the same!

Home Sweet Home

My son finally arrived in New Hampshire. He had 3 of his closest friends helping with the move. They sort of dilly dallied along the way up north. All his belongings are unpacked and off they go to get the lay of the land. This is the last time this group of friends will be together for a while. No more quick runs over to a friend’s for some gaming or drinking. He is embarking on a new path, one of adulthood. This weekend marks a turning in all their lives. Charge on young warriors, our future is in your hands!

Empty Nest

Today my son left for his new job and home in New Hamshire. I have started the empty nest part of my life and I am not sure how much I like it. He was always there. We did so much together while he was growing up. My husband was in the Navy so a lot of the "dad" things that needed to be done with my son were done by me. Before the other children came along, my son and I did everything, picnics in the back yard, a band out of my kitchen pots, pans and utensils, trips to the grandparents, arts and crafts, movies, tents in the living room. In cub scouts, his very first camping trip needed a parent to go. My husband was away, so I loaded up the family, a one year old, a 3 year old and a 6 year old and off we went to spend the weekend in a tent.

I am very proud of my son, I always have been. That is not to say we have not had our moments, but for the most part he is a very fine young man. He is a computer science major, with a minor in network forensics and history. He is starting, as he puts it, a dream job. I wish him the best and I hope I can survive.

On the bright side, I only have to go through this 2 more times!

Second thoughts

I have lived 50 years, giving me time to have second, third and many more thoughts. Today I was watching a Law and Order. I watch these pretty often but for some reason this one just set me to thinking about the criminal justice system. Up until recently I never had a reason to really care. It seemed to work. I worked for a police department and a municipal court when I was younger. Things seemed rather simple to me back then. A person broke the law, got arrested, went to trial, went to jail. Everything had an order. I bought the party line hook, line and sinker. Of course it was mostly adults getting arrested, most kids were dealt with on another level.

I got older and the way I saw things changed. As House says "Everyone lies." People, cops, lawyers, judges, no one is completely honest about everything. When my daughter was younger she was caught shoplifting in a local department store. The security guard searched her purse, and found a blunt and called the police. When the case came up for disposition, the report, written by arresting officer, said the police officer searched her purse. I got there before he did, so I am not really sure how he could have searched her purse. I was trying to help my daughter learn from this experience and all she sees is that the police officer lied. We pointed out the error, but of course it was the police officer was believed not the mother. I know this is just a small thing but as time went on I saw more and more of the teens I had come in contact with get pushed through the system. Some deserved it but some did not. I just got more and more disturbed at what I saw. I suppose the system got that way because "Everyone lies".

So do I believe in the criminal justice system now? No. Unfortunately, it is the only thing we have till it is changed.